Cheating, working out, babies...crazy

Ok so I will admit, I cheated on Superbowl. I knowingly made my favorite naughty treat...scotcheroos...those delicious chewy rice crispy treats made with peanut butter and topped with chocolate...stupid stupid me. I did eat lots of veggies and a healthy spinach artichoke dip I made but...as I knew I would, ate a few of those darned heavenly bites. I have been working out though so I told myself that would make up for my sins...but honestly I felt like poop yesterday and now when I eat sugar my heart rate goes up a ton and makes me feel all panicky and weird. So...I should know better right? Just proof that I am human...and not a diet robot. Oh well, back in the saddle.  I haven't set foot on the scale yet this week because I just don't want to know. Ha. I will wait until next week. :) I found this fantastic workout video that I have been hiding in a drawer for like 2 years. It's the flat belly express from prevention.  It's perfect for the weightloss portion of TSFL as it is low-moderate impact, and 45 minutes in length.  Just what we recommend! I did a Zumba class with my friend Barb last weekend...we've done the videos in my living room multiple times but the live class is nothing like the videos. At all. It was quite an experience. There was a catwalk involved. That part was excruciating but we did it. I think we'll try it again this weekend. 

  I've been looking at bathing suits...as I posted in my last update, we are planning a trip to Hawaii in three months. I think I will need to go personally try some on to see what style I like the best...I am terrified at the thought of strolling around mostly naked in a public setting...but...I am determined to do it with confidence and grace. Ok well, the grace part might not be so attainable (those that know me best know why that it next to impossible) but I think I can manage the confidence bit. Maybe. :) I do know that it will involve pink and black in some fashion. My favorite color combo. :) Plus black makes everyone look hot. 

  Most people who know me know I love babies. I would have had a dozen if I could have. Of course I realize that is a pipe dream and I am irrational, but, it's true. I wanted to be the cheaper by the dozen family. Crazy, I know. Seriously. But it's true. Knowing this was a crazy impossibility, especially since I married an only child, I settled on 3-4.  We agreed on this number until we had our "perfect pair". I am so blessed to have 2 beautiful, healthy children...but I still feel like our family is not complete. My husband doesn't share this feeling...although I think most men tend to be more practical and less romantic about this subject. We've gone back and forth multiple times and each time he is on board, I'm not ready, and vice versa.  Right now I am looking forward to Hawaii...and that bathing suit...and I don't want to be pregnant in it. Which I know is totally selfish. But, it's the truth. So my goal was to wait. He sees our kids getting older (our daughter will be 7 this summer and our son will be 5 this fall) as a negative thing...that they'd be too far apart. I see it as an asset. They will both be in school for a good part of the day...I'll have time with the baby and really, I'm the one who will have to deal with it anyways right? I want to understand and respect his point of view...I do...but I also want him to understand mine. It's such an important part of who I am. I am a mom. I always wanted a big family. But I hate whining because I am so very blessed to have the two that I have. The other reality of the situation is that I am 32. I am not old by any means, but women do have a time limit on safe pregnancies...and I have already had one high risk pregnancy.  This is a big prayer request for me right now.  I know God is in control of this situation and my heart will be calmed and changed in the manner He sees fit. Hopefully He sees fit to change my husbands heart ... :)

  So that's what's happening in my little world today. Off to go work off the rest of my Sunday. :)